One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
