i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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