Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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