I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The power of my boobs compel you
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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