So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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