Ambien. No doubt about it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
