You work out of a Hotel?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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