Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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