8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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