We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
