Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
