I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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