pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
