I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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