Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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