But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
