Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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