I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
