I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
