Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize