Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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