are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
