those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.