hotel room ftw
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???