guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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