Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.