Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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(512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri

Replies (27) Good night (1053) Bad night (3171)
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(951): View more from California

I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.

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(951): I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him. http://tfl.nu/aa9y

Replies (34) Good night (3524) Bad night (5187)
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(281): View more from Texas

It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.

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(281): It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms. http://tfl.nu/ibyd

Replies (13) Good night (5366) Bad night (979)
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(530): View more from California

There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

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(530): There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them http://tfl.nu/te5k

Replies (15) Good night (4670) Bad night (1723)
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(916): View more from California

She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.

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(916): She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/9b1u

Replies (17) Good night (1475) Bad night (5910)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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(816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj

Replies (10) Good night (2936) Bad night (904)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.

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(301): I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost. http://tfl.nu/jb2u

Replies (15) Good night (4344) Bad night (1006)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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(814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw

Replies (6) Good night (2850) Bad night (1166)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.

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(317): He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. http://tfl.nu/b8h5

Replies (27) Good night (981) Bad night (6890)
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(916): View more from California

He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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(916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm

Replies (9) Good night (2068) Bad night (815)
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(573): View more from Missouri

He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"

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(573): He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut" http://tfl.nu/oeuu

Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (545)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.

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(615): Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud. http://tfl.nu/i1my

Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (607)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.

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(913): Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway. http://tfl.nu/1wlj

Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (691)
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(815): View more from Illinois

There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?

(312): View more from Illinois

Best not to. Some people need their delusions.

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(815): There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him? (312): Best not to. Some people need their delusions. http://tfl.nu/62bt

Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (485)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening

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(508): I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening http://tfl.nu/7pf2

Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (231)

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