I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
