Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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(413): I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old? http://tfl.nu/y7lt

Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (562)
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(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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(925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d

Replies (26) Good night (690) Bad night (3748)
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(417): View more from Missouri

p.s. you have a small clit

(1-417): View more from Missouri

YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.

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(417): p.s. you have a small clit (1-417): YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE. http://tfl.nu/402d

Replies (45) Good night (1394) Bad night (4586)
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(845): View more from New York

Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER

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(845): Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER http://tfl.nu/alba

Replies (5) Good night (3586) Bad night (983)
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(314): View more from Missouri

In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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(314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6

Replies (12) Good night (1976) Bad night (3154)
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(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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(760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz

Replies (33) Good night (764) Bad night (8215)
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(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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(907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046

Replies (6) Good night (2006) Bad night (1626)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.

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(203): The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice. http://tfl.nu/qfp9

Replies (5) Good night (2445) Bad night (710)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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(608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud

Replies (1) Good night (1990) Bad night (702)
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(+93): View more from

5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...

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(+93): 5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting... http://tfl.nu/dzib

Replies (4) Good night (1062) Bad night (653)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

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(505): He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable. http://tfl.nu/iadb

Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (710)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.

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(973): So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door. http://tfl.nu/82na

Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (356)
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(925): View more from California

Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.

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(925): Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy. http://tfl.nu/3c9o

Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (315)
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(647): View more from Ontario

you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'

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(647): you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world' http://tfl.nu/lq7t

Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (227)
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(330): View more from Ohio

A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.

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(330): A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent. http://tfl.nu/mkyo

Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (194)

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