Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
