Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
