you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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