I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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