i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
