If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
