Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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