I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
