Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
