a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize