Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
