Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
