Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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