3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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