she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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