I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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