Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
