If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
