your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
