Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think your dad took our porno
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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