I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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