how can u be prego again
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
