Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
