Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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