it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
