I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
