So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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