when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
