You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
