At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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