So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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