so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
