Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
