I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
