Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
