Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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