just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize