I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
