I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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