Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
