apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
