fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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