have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
