What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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