they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
