Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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