After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
